“It's my goal to make these posts so baseball-specific that anyone who stumbled onto my website hoping to read a short story or essay or even a book based on my time in as a Marine in Iraq will be so dumbstruck that they’ll confuse me for an expert in the field and continue blacklisting me from being awarded a Big Five publishing deal.”

“Those of us who remember the These O’s Ain’t Royal tee from the 2014 World Series run-and-loss know that Kansas City fans, God bless us, are always ready to drop $30 on a shirt that we’ll never wear again and probably won’t even reach our mailboxes until the series is already over.”